Skip to content

Valuable Disappointment

If I have a good idea, I’m hesitant to act upon it. In hindsight, most choices I make were in-the-moment bad ideas. Most sunrises, I wake up. Other days, my perpetual crisis waits for me at the end of the rotation. I can count the number of times I had conjured a positive thought towards the big picture in my artistic and academic endeavors. Indeed I long for this clarity in my experiences. My more recurring stages of self-doubt are harsh realizations that my art will not save me from the steady chaos of this world. The many principles of design suggest an unspoken solace to be taken in the rigidity of its nature, yet the plague of opinion skips no breed of thought. As a student, I am constantly reminded how deeply relative “beauty” and other tropes are between every set of eyes on this planet. I find it healthy to regulate my excitement of accomplishment with the greater feedback of the audience. I withhold my interest in my own work until it is gratified by an array of viewers. I, also, do not.